♥️ I am constantly asked by so many people why it takes me so long to adjust and accept my diagnosis’s, and the truth is because it’s simply just not that easy. It’s not easy being told that your whole world is going to be turned around…that all your dreams are going to be tossed about and not knowing where they are going to land. That pain is going to be a part of your everyday life, and with pain comes so much more… sadness, grief, disappointment, self reflection, and simply not knowing where to turn next.
♥️ Not having a diagnosis and not knowing what is happening to your body is scary upon itself, but knowing and being told that it’s going to be a life long thing is really disappointing and upsetting. I remember my 13,14,15,16 year old self thinking that once they figure out what’s wrong that everything will be okay, and that they would be able to fix it. I thought that I would still be able to fulfil my dreams of joining the Navy and becoming a medic, that I would become strong and fit, and feel like I could conquer the world.
♥️ Looking back to being diagnosed at 16, I shake my head now being 20- almost 21. I shake my head because it’s nothing like I thought it would be…It’s actually the complete opposite. My body has taken a complete turn like I had never imagined. I’m in pain, I find it hard to do a lot that maybe an average person may have no trouble doing, I haven’t been able to complete my dreams, I look around me and see myself so different from my peers and it makes me feel so ashamed of myself.
♥️ It’s taken me years to realize and accept this.. But it’s okay to be different than others! None of this is in our control.. we didn’t choose to have our bodies be like this, we never wanted to feel this way! To this day, 6 years after diagnosis, and 10+ years since I’ve developed symptoms and I’m still reminding myself this everyday when I wake up and start thinking why.
♥️ A medical diagnosis is definitely a hard pill to swallow for anyone, you can never really be ready for it. But you can learn, educate yourself, and help others who are just starting to experience or those who simply just need a friend who understands!
Stay Beautiful! ♥️